Antioch Illinois 2006
In another surprise announcement today, WalMart revealed that, in an effort to cut costs and increase profits, it would be hiring birds for it's "less skilled positions."
"We're starting a pilot program using birds to gather the carts left in our parking lots. This will allow us to reduce the labor costs associated with mundane but necessary activities, and refocus paid employees toward improving the customer experience. We're also hoping that seeing birds working at our stores will encourgage other birds in the parking lot to come inside to see our wide selection of low-cost items."
The pilot program has had limited success, however. "We're having a few problems in the areas of motivation and training. Birds are inherently free-spirits, and WalMart understands that. We've been able to attract birds to the carts in the parking lot by putting bird seed in discreet places. However, we've had a lot of trouble getting the birds to actually bring the carts back into the stores," a spokesperson admitted.
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