Antioch Illinois 2006
In a surprise annoucement today, a WalMart spokesperson confirmed that the world's largest retailer will indeed be courting the bird market, specifcally sea gulls.
The spokesperson went on to say, "Since most humans already shop at WalMart, we need to expand our horizons if we want to meet or exceed analysts' expectations. And the stupid birds are all over the parking lots anyway. We just need to figure out how to get them into the stores and buying stuff." When asked about the lack of any disposable income in the general bird population, the spokesperson stated that WalMart would be exploring options in "alternative economies," and that further details will be forthcoming.
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